Deserter, I agree with SBF and others who said No to disassociation. You are not planning on moving and starting over, therefore, I recommend you play the "Not Disassociated or disfellowshipped" game. You are "spiritually weak" possibly having depression from being locked up by Covid. Oh, as for your wonderful Mom's gifts of money, this should graciously be accepted. Fact 1: If you don't take her money now or inherit it because Mom writes you out of Her Last Will and Testemont I can assure you that your siblings and the Watch Tower Bible and Tract Society will end up spending every penny that should rightfully be yours. Fact 2: When that happens: You will be Piss-ethed! (Proverbs x:31)
Therefore, put you head in my hands and listen to me carefully. You must not say a word to Mom that changes her opinion of you and your family, FROM currently being an inactive, weak and having doubts JW, TO, "an ungodly APOSTATE that has returned to their vomit! From today foward, you have your own special "Spiritual Warfare" rules of engagement. Look, WT double speaks on every level. They are masters of playing the game at your expense! Therefore, You have spoken with a doctor about depression, anxiety, and panick attacks, perhaps ED. You read the Bible everyday and finding strength in Jehovah's words and are conducting a "family study". You hope that the depression will leave soon. Don't say anymore or get into any more details.
I visited with a professional family counselor of 40 years experience (NOT JW) when I was facing a character assassination by my "fleshly" brothers and sisters and I will share what she advised me. And it's all for FREE! and of the internet, two wonderful ingredients for success! (Your mileage may vary)
After Dad's death, at one time, my Mom wanted to be part of my family, and she would keep my son one day a week and I noticed when we got him home after his day with Gran he was obviously having conflicting thoughts. He was 4 years old at the time and Mom was sowing seeds that eroded our parenting. At this time, we still were very active in the congregation but Mom was being fed lies by sisters that were in the over glorified "Full Time Service" that also didn't want to have to work or make their husbands that were in manly men "fun and drinking brotherhood" of Kingdom Hall builders to provide for their financial needs. So, They had taken emotional control over Mom "protecting" her from my evil and Spiritual death. I was favored by my Father and they were jealous of my influence. When Dad died, Siblings thought, "You may have had Dad, but he is dead, and we will get control over Mom who is living, then we will have Mom cut you out of her Will.
Knee Jerk reaction: I wanted to stop Grandmother's "special" day visiting son, however, The family counselor recommended not taking that visiting day away from Gran. The counselor said that children are resilient and that we could lovingly guide son back regardless of what is said by Gran. Counselor told me straight up, with the character assasination and the lies told by my sisters that I would never be able to reestablish the great relationship I had with Mom previously before Dad's death. She said, In a majority of families, when one parent dies, the "less loved" siblings of the dead parent will work to take over emotional control of the surviving parent. From my experience, JW, elder, pioneer, full time servant for over 12 years my wife and I combined, it doesn't matter, the fight to get control of Mom's emotions IS to control her money, and it will get to be a very dirty street fight. I tried for years to associate with Mom not for her, but for me. The counselor said that I need to try to have a relationship with Mom for my benefit. After she passes away, I could reason in my heart, I tried.
Ok, next point. I mentioned spiritual warfare. My observation is if an individual comes to the Memorial once a year, you will be tolerated by most JW families. However, Watch Tower (two words) would love you to take yourself out of the equation by disassociating yourself. That means more uncontested money in WT's pocket to further their fraud. The last two years with Zoom meeting has been easy. If you eventually have to go to a Memorial, it's spiritual warfare! You are preventing money that could go potentially to WTBTS. Perhaps you feel bad about not making these actions "whole souled" or that you are a hypocrite! Suck it up and play the part! 84.36 percent of JW's are hypicritical two faced liars and they coverup for Pedephiles. I am confident you can come up with a cheap ill fitting suit to do one meeting a year. Do not show wealth by dressing up. Your family needs to look pitiful. Not like the man at the stop light with a cardboard sign saying he needs $10 to go home pitiful. If you can't make the meetings and someone asks, just say the economy is ruthless with inflation yada yada.